times and places

Bold the ones that are true for you.

The list is based on an exercise developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. The exercise developers ask that if you participate in this blog game, you acknowledge their copyright.

If you post this in your blog, please leave a comment on this post. To participate in this blog game, copy and paste the below list into your blog, and bold the items that are true for you. If you don't have a blog, feel free to post your responses in the comments.

Father went to college
Father finished college
Mother went to college
Mother finished college
Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
Were read children's books by a parent
Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively
Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs
Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
Went to a private high school
Went to summer camp
Had a private tutor before you turned 18
Family vacations involved staying at hotels
Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
There was original art in your house when you were a child
Had a phone in your room before you turned 18
You and your family lived in a single family house
Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course
Had your own TV in your room in High School
Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
Went on a cruise with your family
Went on more than one cruise with your family
Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up
You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family

******************************************************************

I've seen a lot of people posting this meme, and then justifying their bolded items. I don't really think that's the point. In fact, I think that if you bold an item and then attempt to justify it, you're missing the point entirely. It doesn't matter why you had any of these things or how little you had of these things.......YOU HAD THEM. And the more you had growing up, the easier your life was for you as you grew up.

It's so sad and frustrating when people can't or won't recognize their own privileges.

Money is a huge one and you know what? You don't need to be "rich" to be privileged.

Race is another. Just because you think you know what it's like to be a minority doesn't mean you do.

Sex...it can't be denied being male is a privilege. We still have so many cliche ways in which we treat men so much better, so much more worthy.

When people are in radically different walks of life than you or I, I don't know that it's really realistic or fair to judge them by our own yardstick.

I'm somewhere around 16 weeks-ish, give or take. I don't know my "due date" nor do I really care. When people ask when I'm due, I say "June-ish". Really, all I want is this baby to be born after E's birthday but before mine. Oy, a house full of Geminis.

I don't have any tests scheduled and I don't intend on drinking horrible, sugary goop or letting anyone take vials of blood from my arm so that they can tell me I don't have diseases I already know I don't have.

I like the unhurried, unfrenzied pace this pregnancy is taking. I dare say I am enjoying it a bit. I haven't even lost my lunch in a few weeks.

I'm enjoying this time of looking merely like a fat girl, maybe with a distended belly. I'm not looking forward to the time coming soon when this won't be my little secret anymore. When strangers will take the liberty of touching my belly and asking me terribly personal questions, as if it's their right to know.

I'm getting to the point where I either lie to people about my birth choices or risk engaging in conversations I've had a million times, that get no one anywhere.

Little E, looking like a little angel.........


This was our "Christmas" morning........K got an MP3 player, it was her favorite gift.


Have a good one, y'all.

We've done all of our "Christmas". I didn't have K for Christmas this year so we did it all this weekend.

It was crazy and busy and stressful and chaotic, but in the end it was good. My kids loved their presents. The one potential issue we had when both grandparent gave E the same dinosaur was remedied when he declared he wanted them both because one was the mama and one was the baby.

I got a small bit of hand-made items, and I think those may be my favorite. My step-mom painted and framed me up one of her beautiful water colors and my step-sister knitted me and K matching scarves. Oh, and some home-made yummy lavender lotion. I love that stuff. I think that one year I'm doing to declare it "All Hand-made" gifting year.

So now I have two days to do nothing. Happy Christmas indeed!

Taken from SueBob, play along if you want...

Favorite place I had Christmas: Home

Least favorite place I had to spend Christmas: The year we spent Christmas as my paternal Grandads house, God bless him.

Favorite Christmas present ever: a diamond ring my husband gave me, more for sentimental reasons, cause I rarely actually wear it.

Least favorite Christmas present ever:\ when I was 10 or so, my Grandad (see above) gave me underwear. And they were huge. And cheap.

Best Christmas cookies: Decorated sugar cookies with lots and lots of sugary crap on them.

Worst Christmas cookies: me and snickerdoodles don't have a very good relationship. Don't ask.

Most fun job at Christmas: mom-ing

Least fun job at Christmas: retail worker in a mall.

I have a minor in Sociology, technically. Really, I almost have a major in in but during my last year of school I got a letter from the financial aid office that said "You have too many units, we're not giving more financial aid, get out of school already", so I think I'm three or four classes shy of a major in Sociology.

I always wanted to turn that into something to do with social work. I think I'd be a good therapist or counselor or mentor. I understand things like when a person makes extreme and uncharacteristic statements, there is usually an underlying emotional hurt that is doing the talking. When people are hurting and in a bad place, I understand that the last thing that you want to do is attack them or tell them they are wrong for feeling how they feel. I am learning that change is really scary for a lot of people, so scary, in fact, some people aren't prepared to do it.

I like to think that my best quality is my empathy. But I sometimes encounter people who I can feel no empathy for and I wonder if that makes me a bad person or just a bad judge of my own character.

Newflash parents:

The people that make children' clothing are much like the people that make grown up clothing. They don't seem to use the same sizing techniques when making their clothes. You know how you're a size 8 at one store, a size 10 at another, and a "XS" at a third? Kids clothes are the same.

Almost daily, I encounter a child who's parents are just utterly and completely befuddled that the 24 month pants they bought their 2 year old just don't fit! "But but but..." they stammer "He's 24 months old! And the pants I bought him at that OTHER store fit him fine!".

And, not only do the manufacturers use different ways to make their clothes, but *gasp* kids are different. I'm pretty sure that when they say it's a size 9 month, they mean "This is the average size of an average 9 month old". And we all know about averages.......your kid will never fit into them.

I'll tell you a secret that will save you lots of money and headaches...buy what fits. Ignore the tags. Just like with our clothes, they are fairly meaningless. If you're one of those parents who needs to brag about your childs milestones, LIE. No one is going to be checking the tags, you'll be able to say "Oh little 9 month old Joey is in size 4T clothes!" no matter what (None of us believe you or really care anyways).

I know a mom who INSISTS on putting her tiny, skinny two year old into 2T clothing. You know what happens? His pants are around his ankles half the time. And what does the mom do? Nothing. She just sits and says "Well it SAYS it fits a 2 year old!". Oh lordy.

I'm not a huge fan of pediatricians. I don't take my children to them. I don't like the idea of someone who gets LOADS of kickbacks to make sure my child is drugged up all year. I don't like it one bit.

But one thing I really hate is pediatricians who feel the need to dispense advice that is better given by a therapist or phsychologist.

My dear friend Heather brings up possibly my biggest pediatrician pet peeve...peds who think they are experts on baby behavior and sleep.

Pediatricians are specialists in the things that go wrong, medically, with babies and kids. That's all. It's a fairly narrow spectrum of study. And you know what? They spend no time in med school studying childhood psychology or behaior analysis.

Yes yes, sometimes your baby is not sleeping well due to a medical reason. That's when a doctor can help you. If something is medically wrong with your baby, they can say "Hey, your baby has reflux, lets try this med and see if little Joey sleeps better". Ok fine. That's within their realm of expertise.

Having a pediatrician tell you "You know, I think it's about time your baby learned to self sooth" is an utter bunch of shite. It's not their area of study, and they know nothing more about it than you or I do. A pediatrician telling you that it's time for our baby to learn to self sooth is akin to your auto mechanic telling you that you need to drive at 11 and 3 instead of 10 and 2..........sure, it's kind of related to their field, but in reality they don't really know any more or less than the average every day joe schmoe.

I'll make you a deal...you pay ME $10 or whatever your co-pay is and I'll spend 10 minutes pretending to know everything about your kid and tell you how you should put him or her to sleep. Sound good?

*****************************************************

For the record, I'm not necessarily against crying it out. Working with toddlers (and raising a couple of my own) has made me realize that for older babes/toddlers, sometimes need you to set limits with them. I have a few friends right now who have year old or older toddlers who are making their lives hell because mom and dad refuse to establish boundries, like "bed time is bed time". I don't agree with CIO for infants under a year, as a general rule though.

I have this really bad habit of waiting until I'm deathly hungry to eat, and then not knowing what I want, so instead I just sit around and ponder. Getting hungrier. This is not so good when pregnant. Do I want some malt-o-meal? Leftover fajitas? I have no idea...let's mull this over a bit more.

**********************

(edit: I had a TV dinner...........gross)

You get friends who become stay-at-home-moms. But can't really afford it. Or who are a little bored but underqualified for anything good.

And become...Mary Kay reps. Or Passion Party reps. Or Candle Clutter reps. Or whateverthefuck they try to sell you.

Seriously, what makes women think this is a good idea? You know, the whole thing is centered around the idea that the people who run these stupid companies KNOW you will have a certain percentage of friends who will feel guilty and buy some of your overpriced crap.

But, none of us want to. And most of us are annoyed at our friendship being exploited for you to recoup your "investment" into the company.

I haven't figured out how the shortcuts function on my laptop. Just now, I did something when I was setting the darned thing down, and now my Firefox is FULL SCREEN. Like, I don't have my nice little tool bar at the bottom that tells me how much battery life I have or what time it is. I have no clue what I pressed to do that.

Sometimes, I make the volume or the battery icon completely leave the little tool bar. How? I don't know.

I know that there are shortcuts for scrolling with or without my arrow keys. I have no idea what they are.

I feel like an old person. I don't want all these new-fangled shortcuts. I want to do it the old fashioned way...I'll point and click if I want something, damnit.

In theory, I'm about 12 weeks pregnant now, give or take. My midwife came over last week for my first pre-natal and checked for the heartbeat, but we didn't hear it. We got a little panicky and had her come again last night really quickly to check again...nothing.

Now, there are two sides of this. My dates could very well be off. I was on the pill when this baby was conceived so it's anyone's guess as to when I actually got pregnant. The 12 weeks is based largely on the fact that when I tested, it's most likely I was at least 2 weeks along at that point in order to get a positive. But, anything is possible and as fertile as I seem to be it's very possible I could have tested positive sooner than most people, who knows.

Even if my dates aren't off, I could have a weird placenta placement or just a baby who hates the doppler and hides from it. The baby could very well be behind my pubic bone, rendering the doppler ineffective at this point. And, some babies just don't let you hear them this soon. I've kind of put this out there on some of my online groups and have heard from plenty of women who didn't hear their baby till 15 weeks or later.

The other side...I'm pretty sure I heard both my kids earlier than this. 10 weeks sticks in my head for some reason. I know I FELT K at about 16 weeks and E at about 14 weeks. So, presuming I'm 12 weeks, not hearing this little one is scary to me, in spite of all the perfectly logical reasons why I might not be able to.

The hub is worried, which makes me more worried. I feel this pressure to produce a healthy baby heartbeat and soon. I am second guessing everything right now. I've been taking meds for the nausea/hypermesis and so I wake up feeling relatively ok. Just mildly barfy. Part of me wants to stop taking them to see if I get really really sick again, so I'd know that a healthy baby was in there. And, yes, part of me realizes how miserable I'd be if I did that.

So I'm thinking on what I want to do. I know the hub wants an ultrasound, and in the heat of the moment, I thought I wanted one too. Now I'm not so sure. I wonder if I'm worrying for nothing. I wonder if in three months when I'm huge as a house, I'll look back on this and laugh.

I need to learn to practice what I preach. Whenever people come to me with questions like this, I always think "Well, eventually, time will tell one way or another". I never understand why people let themselves get so antsy. I don't understand why I'm letting myself get so antsy.